My friend and almost constant companion who goes by the name King Oliver is my two and one half pound Chihuahua, and he has the paper work from the American Kennel Club to prove his qualifications. It has been a normal routine to let him out several times a day to run around in the front yard where he spends a few minutes marking his territory and other things that doggies do. I always stand on the porch to make sure he doesn’t go into the road where those big automobiles that sometimes drive by doesn't get the opportunity to run over my little friend. My neighbor across the street also has a Chihuahua but I had never noticed before that it was a young lady. Maybe I’m wrong about her being a lady.
Friday while King Oliver was out making sure the markings of his territory were still intact, she ran across the street and introduced herself. “Hi big boy, are you in the mood for a little romance?” She asked. The King perked up at hearing this and…well…the two of them went into this tight little dance, side by side, nose to tail around and around for a few minutes becoming thoroughly acquainted. It was about then the mean old Ogre…that’s me…decided that the King should come back inside and not get involved with this promiscuous little hussy.
It wasn’t long before King Oliver…insisting that his new friend was not a promiscuous little hussy, wanted to go back outside. He whimpered and cried, insisting that he really needed to go outside. He was so insistent, even threatening to poop on the floor if he didn’t get his way.
Finally giving in, even though it was already dark outside I thought I could keep him in the range of my front porch light. Well…I was wrong. He disappeared into the darkness and refused to return when I called. I finally sent out a search party and he was nowhere to be found. I couldn’t imagine where he might be but it was a sure thing that he was somewhere he wanted to be but not to be found.
A few hours later, the lady of the house across the street brought him to my front door telling me she found him in her small storage building whining and shivering…the temperature outside had fallen a little below freezing. Why he didn't come home on his own after his little hussy went inside I don't know. Maybe he thought she would return soon and they could continue where they left off. I can only imagine that they were just doing what comes naturally.
I remembered my youth and compared the storage building to the old barn on the our farm. Out behind the barn was where I got my education when I was young. There’s a song about that and I just wish I could remember the lyrics. His little escapade brought back to mind that song entitled “Out Behind the Barn.” Most of us southern country boys got our education out behind the barn. Smoked our first cigarette out behind the barn. Kissed our first girl friend out behind the barn. A lot of things went on out behind the barn that we didn't want ma and pa to know about. That's life.
All day long today, Valentines day 2015, my little King has been whining wanting to go back out behind the barn but all to no avail. I’m a mean old Ogre and insisted he stay in the yard and be a nice little boy, after all, he’s only two and a half years old. And has plenty of years ahead of him to find a nice girl, fall in love and get properly married before he starts a family. At least that’s what my mama always said to me when I was young.
